dreaming in recovery

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While working as a trauma therapist at a non-profit agency for substance abuse recovery, I meet all kinds of women. The clientele are highly diverse, yet they come together in their recovery journey. Whether in an individual or a group therapy session, the topic of dreaming often emerges even though I do not advertise my experience as a dreamworker or dream researcher. Dreams in early and mid-stages of recovery surface and are shared. The question often asked is “why now?” and “what does this mean?”

“Dreams belong to the dreamer,” I state, “so you are the one to determine that.” My offer to share some prominent theories, in order to generate ideas, is met with approval. One perspective of dreaming is that dreams come in service of evolution. They act as a protective evolutionary factor. In this case, if a woman is striving to stay clean (and recover from long-term drug abuse), a drug-of-choice dream might remind her of her purpose and this most pressing issue.

In the dream, sometimes the dreamer simply looks at, or holds, a bag containing the drug-of-choice; other times she prepares to consume the illicit drug, but awakens before doing so. And even other times, dreamers use the drug while in the dream state .Perhaps these three examples represent levels or stages of recovery integration. Or, perhaps they exist simply to encourage the dreamer to progress in some way.

In the first example, some of these dreamers have spoken about a feeling of mastery or pride in that they could be so close to such a dangerously tempting substance, yet not act impulsively or have any desire to do so. In the second example, dreamers have reported feeling worried about their dream activities (e.g. chopping a line; preparing a syringe), only to become increasingly vigilant in their recovery work. The third and final example can leave the dreamer with much confusion and fear. One woman reported smoking crack cocaine in a dream, and while slowing waking up (aka hypnopompic state), she touched her face, perceiving it as thinner and sunken in. This perception led her heart to race and body to jolt out of bed in fear. The dream, she said, upon reflection, supported her recovery by scaring her out of thoughts of using. The cravings dissipated for some time and she made several statements about her commitment to her recovery.

Substance abuse is like a slow death. It is, essentially, self-harm and the illicit drug is the weapon. For those living with addiction, the drug-of-choice is extremely powerful – powerful enough to hijack, sabotage, and rob a person of their own life. If dreams do serve evolution, then a dream centered around the relationship and power dynamic between the drug and the dreamer, may support relapse prevention or prepare the dreamer for what could come.

Addiction is a chronic disease. It can cause disability and premature death, but it can be managed and people do recover. The resources listed below can offer help and provide information, however, they are just a starting place.

http://www.asam.org

http://www.na.org

http://www.smartrecovery.org

http://www.womenforsobriety.org/beta2/

taemong

~ kimberly mascaro ~ 2 Comments

Parents, grandparents and other family members report dreams about children-to-be. Most often it is women who experience such dreams, typically occurring around the time of conception or during pregnancy. These episodes have been referred to as conceptions dreams, fertility dreams, and even announcing dreams. I consider announcing dreams to not only feature the child-to-be metaphorically (a small furry animal or a seed are examples), but to also serve as a communication between the baby and dreamer.

Taemong, or Korean birth dreams, first came to my attention from the 1989 book Oriental Birth Dreams by Fred Jeremy Seligson. Later, Associate professor, Loren Goodman, PhD, of Yonsei University expanded my view significantly. Taemong are part of a long oral history within Korean culture. They typically do not feature the child-to-be as a human baby, but instead as an animal or jewel for example. As the saying goes, “One cannot come into this world without first having been dreamt.” We can show the dreamer a lot about who we are and who we will become from such powerful dreams.

Not so long ago, Koreans, and others interested in taemong, have begun to collect and transcribe these stories. Dr. Goodman told me that taemong are not usually written down, but instead, passed on orally. He is one among many who recognize the importance of recording this extensive tradition so it does not become lost. Without doing so, it may very well likely die out as we become an evermore globalized society, abandoning traditional practices and culturally-specific ways of knowing.

Dr. Goodman expanded my view and understanding of this rich cultural tradition. He told me that many narrative elements emerge from taemong. Some of the elements stood out to me because I noticed that these elements also emerged from the announcing dream reports I have been collecting for the past decade. These ‘shared’ narrative elements are suddenness, brightness, brilliance or illumination, enormity (size) or miraculous proportions, vividness or a quality of being unforgettable, and reciprocal gaze. Consider the following dream (the full version was posted in June 2017). The dreamer saw an adult size baby boy kneeling on the floor by her bedside. The dreamer stated,

“He was leaning on my bed, watching my husband and I sleeping. When I got up to look at 17800279_10154857591042949_1533489294192211638_nhim, he calmly whispered, “I’m coming.” This freaked me out, because it was the first time a baby had ever appeared…”

This dreamer told me that the dream-baby appeared suddenly, out of nowhere, and was huge – nothing like the size of a typical baby. She said that the dream was vivid and truly unforgettable. The elements of suddenness, enormity, and quality of being unforgettable/vividness all exist here – these are common among taemong. Here, though, the baby-to-be speaks to the dreaming mother.

The following taemong was provided by Yoon Ha Park, a student of Dr. Goodman:

As I am walking alongside a lake, I see the clear sky suddenly change dark. I try to get a better look at what is happening above. From high above the sky, I spot an enormous dragon gracefully, yet powerfully, make its way towards the lake in front of me. It sinks in the lake and pulls out its head and looks at me directly in the eyes. Strangely, despite its vast size and figure, I don’t feel afraid.

The narrative elements here are suddenness, enormity, and reciprocal gaze.

The two dreams shared here (the first an announcing dream, and the second a taemong) share similar elements. This appears to be the case for many dreams that are recalled around the time of pregnancy, whether they are categorized as conception dreams, fertility dreams, announcing dreams, or Korean birth dreams. A thorough analysis to encompass all of these categories could provide an expanded understanding and further clarity. Until that happens, it is clear that these types of episodes are common and meaningful for so many families.

I wish to thank Fred Jeremy Seligson, Loren Goodman, Yoon Ha Park and the anonymous dreamer for their assistance, guidance and for sharing with me their experiences.

 

In the Spirit of Peace,

Kim

mutual dreaming

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Can two or more people (even complete strangers) share dream elements? Can two or more people agree to dream together and intentionally interact? Dreamers casually talk about these episodes. A significant body of anecdotal reports exists as well. Still, scientific investigations in this area are rare.

About two decades ago, I had my first dream of a stranger, which I met later, for the first time, in the waking state, a few weeks after the dream. She was a young woman close to my age. While I recalled information about her from the dream, she did not recall dreaming me. This episode was one-directional, although many people report dual-directional experiences.

The term ‘shared dreaming’ usually refers to two or more people sharing similar elements in the dreams. ‘Mutual dreaming’ involves two or more people interacting or meeting together in a dream. I see it as more intentional. Both shared dreaming and mutual dreaming can involve highly detailed recollections or vague memories.

Once a month, I lead a dream course in California. One time, as the participants departed, a man approached me and asked if I had ever heard of two people having the same dream. I said, “yes,” and told him that this phenomenon has been reported by many people. He then told me about a recent experience he had with a friend. He said they seemed to share the same dream space and awoke to recall very similar events and scenes. After listening to his story, I asked if he or his friend had written down the episodes before speaking to each other – they hadn’t. I suggested dream journaling upon awakening. Not only would this document the dream for future reference, but it would also say a lot if both dreamers produce similar written episodes before interactional influences have an effect. We parted ways, both excited that this might occur again soon.

While I was aware of the varieties of anomalous dream occurrences much earlier, it wasn’t until about 2004 that I attended courses and participated with a group that taught lucid dreaming and out-of-body techniques. During that period, the group would meet about once a month at night to practice mutual and shared dreaming – a special occasion. One of the group facilitators would place a secret object in the next room and the attendees were invited to dream with each other, interact, and if they chose, discover the object unknown to the group. This was a fun challenge and my first time working with a group to enhance our conscious dream skills. I was unsuccessful, but those more seasoned participants were quite successful, at times, and made accurate claims regarding the target object. During those years I came to understand that mutual and shared dreaming is possible.

Neuroscientist Patrick McNamara, PhD asks Can Two People Have The Same Dream? (See June 19, 2016 article in Psychology Today by that name). McNamara states that the best-documented cases involve shared dreams between therapists and their clients, followed by those people in close relationships. Think emotional closeness! While McNamara notes that the dreamers don’t agree on every dream detail, I understand that to be consistent with reports from waking state occurrences. For example, two friends walking together side-by-side down the same street would likely not report the exact same details of the experience. Psychological theories of memory, sensation and perception explain this. As McNamara’s article concludes, he writes, “In short, we [the scientific community] have no good explanations for shared dreams. Perhaps that is why science has not yet investigated these events. Science has no place to put them within its current worldview—but this is all the more reason to investigate them. Paradigm-challenging phenomena are the most important data for science because they force revolutionary changes.” I can think of no bigger clash than that of the current scientific paradigm and the transpersonal or spiritual perspectives.

Western science aside, consider non-materialistic views and those traditional, nature-based, indigenous, non-western, or even mystical views. Can consciousness leave the physical body and return at will? If the soul travels as one’s body slumbers, bumping into friends or family members who share the same ‘dimensional space’ may be possible. While such a notion is a given among certain groups, it may not sit comfortably with particular religious groups or even extreme secularists. Mutual and shared dreaming rides dangerously close to historical accusations (Salem witch trails; the Inquisition) of individuals making a pact with the devil. Whatever we believe, it is unlikely that the next person that crosses our path will hold the same assumption or harness the same belief. The bottom line, however, is that it may be difficult to deny the power and mystery of mutual dreaming once one (or more) experiences such.

 

Be well,

Kim

dream flying

~ kimberly mascaro ~ 3 Comments

When flying in a dream, we might move from one place to another very quickly. This is, of course, possible during a lucid dream, since the dreamer can speed up or slow down at will. In several dreams, I have decided to ‘fly’ to a particular place almost immediately after becoming lucid. Usually, the destination is quite far, so I fly across states or nations. During this type of flight, I can see the land or clouds below, even stars sometimes. Flying through space is an unforgettable experience.

img_2314Of course, we are not limited by this planet alone. We can fly into deep space or to other planets. Many years ago, a woman told me that she flew to the planet Venus in her lucid dream and was certain that some kind of life form existed there. I became quite curious, but to this day, I have never made it there.

We can even announce to the dream, “Take me where I need to be.” Then, we may be transported to another location to investigate or to learn something. There really is no limit. With such a question, posed to the dream itself, we might travel instantaneously and have little awareness of flying or any other form of transportation. You never know. What is certain, is that you are safe and free from any physical harm during such adventures.

For those new to lucid dream flying, I suggest testing this out in smaller ways – easy does it. For example, instead of flying to the moon, try flying to a rooftop near by and hover img_2405above it. Look around and see what you notice. If instead, you find yourself lucid in a more natural landscape, fly to the top of a tree or mountain. Notice what can be observed from this new vantage point. No matter what happens, you can wake up (returning to the physical waking state) simply by saying, “I want to wake up now.” That’s what I said during my first recognizable lucid dream and I immediately found my awareness there in my bed. My eyes opened and the episode was over.

Happy dreaming,

Kim

welcoming deceased loved ones in hypnosis

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Earlier, I wrote about significant images, whether animal or human (or beyond), that may appear in dream or hypnosis. While separated by time, chimera was a significant image that appeared to me in both states. However, chimera was far from the only one.

While deceased loved ones may appear to us in dreams or visions, they may also appear when in hypnosis. Around the time I became certified in hypnotherapy in 2005, I had a beautiful experience. Another student of hypnosis was working with me that day and after the brief induction, I felt relaxed and comfortable. I hadn’t dropped deeply, but I definitely felt the enjoyable effects of the hypnotic state.

For this experience, I chose to make contact with a heaviness I had been carrying in my heart region for some time. I wanted to understand it and transform it into something positive and light. After exploring it in a light hypnotic state, the hypnotherapist asked my deep inner mind to reveal an image, sensation, or message that could assist me and my heart. To my surprise, my dear Uncle Joe appeared, along with his boat – I was so happy to see him! In my core, I knew everything would be okay and relaxed into the experience. Carefully and gently, the heaviness was removed from my heart center and placed in his boat before he drove it out into the middle of the lake where it was released.

IMG_1873This memory has stayed with me for over 10 years now. But it didn’t end there. Before being guided back to my ordinary state of consciousness, I thanked my uncle for his help and then attended to the empty space that was left after the removal. In hypnosis, I imagined soft golden and white light filling the space and unifying my center. With gratitude, I opened my eyes and thanked the hypnotherapist as well.

While one can ask for assistance from a particular person, spirit, power object, or animal, it is also possible that one just appears. This was the case for me that day. Sometimes we can be surprised! We can trust that whatever appears to us, in whatever way, is just right…just what we need at that moment.

In loving memory,

Kim

a pathway to lucid dreaming

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From an extraordinary dream to a hypnotic state, chimera made a meaningful presence in my life. Numerous others have seen significant images of people, animals, and more, in dreams, hypnosis, and other non-ordinary states of consciousness. Anyone can wait for a particular image to reappear, although at times, one is moved to act and discover more sooner than later. While there are a variety of techniques and practices that exist to propel such a journey, lucid dreaming is one such pathway to regain access.

In his preface to his first book, Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self, Robert Waggoner (2009) writes that lucid dreaming is “the ability to become consciously aware of dreaming while in the dream state.” Stephen LaBerge, has researched this phenomenon for decades. In one of his books, Lucid Dreaming: A Concise Guide to Awakening in Your Dreams and in Your Life, he states that “lucid dreamers can consciously influence the outcome of their dreams” (2004, p. 3).

These books, among several others, offer tips and techniques for lucid dreaming success. In my experience, a daily concentration meditation practice has been very helpful. Whether it is counting each breath, walking slowly and mindfully with intention, focusing on an object (candle flame, flower, glass of water), or vocalizing a mantra, the act of focused attention itself brings about benefits. In addition, attending to the present moment through intentional awareness, whether you are showering or doing the dishes, enhances faculties needed for awareness in the dream state.

If you are new to this, start small. Consistent shorter periods of time are better than skipping days or nothing at all, or inconsistently practicing for longer periods. Try for five minutes a day, then 10 the following week and so on. An hour a day is wonderful, and can be split into a morning and evening practice (30 minutes each). In addition to gaining enhanced experiences in dreamtime, your physiology will thank you too, as such practices are known to relieve stress and bring a sense of peace and calmness.

If you want to learn more about an image or experience you’ve had in an ordinary, typical dream state, dreaming with awareness, or lucidly, can allow for such conscious engagement. If you’ve had such an experience, and are moved to share it, I’d love to hear from you.

Happy dreaming,

Kim

why “conscious chimera?”

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Why “conscious chimera?” There is so much in a name. Chimera appeared to me many years ago, in dream. At that time, chimera presented itself as a small statue, or figurine, able to fit in my open palms. In the dream, this image, this mythological creature, felt significant. I came upon it in a dream basement. Upon returning to an ordinary wakening state, I researched its meanings and pondered its significance. I was somewhat familiar with the history of chimera, but why would it be with me in this way, at this time?

chimera

Chimera did not return for what felt like ages, even while I revisited its meaning and history from time to time. A few years ago, though, I was invited to attend a monthly dream group, and it was there that I shared the dream. The dream group’s members, after a process of analysis, offered meaningful insights and possibilities for such a dream. That evening, I left the group refreshed and with purpose, although still somewhat bewildered. And still, I continued to hold chimera in my thoughts and daydreams. I had hoped to reconnect.

During a presentation and workshop at the 2015 IASD conference, interested attendees were guided into a state of relaxation – a light hypnotic state – and furthermore, welcomed to imagine an image from a dream that needed greater clarity or insight. Naturally, chimera emerged. This time, chimera was no figurine, but full-grown, and even better – fully alive! Having had years of experience with hypnosis, I guided myself to go deeper and felt very relaxed and comfortable, so much so, in fact, that I imagined becoming chimera itself. Our essence merged, you could say. At that moment, we leapt into the air and ran at high speeds through the landscape. My conscious awareness shifted from being the chimera to riding the chimera – both were just fine. It felt good, and safe, and I felt well-cared for by chimera.

As the experiential portion of the workshop came to close, I emerged from this non-ordinary state of consciousness with a great appreciation for this creature. No longer mythological, and no longer separate, but instead, a seemingly real guide and companion that would remind me of my inner power and my path, and fill me with gratitude.

Here’s to the journey…

Kim